Whereby cheery, easily excited presenters go to auction house to see what people buying selected properties do with them after they bought them....
Whilst I’m sure this programme used to feature hoards of eager yet naiive buy to let-ters or those relinquishing lifelong careers for property development to make a quick buck, unsurprisingly in the current climate, all the people featured in the programme this week have been builders, building contractors and professional property/letting agents.
This fundamental position change of their subject does not appear to have a) been spotted by the programme makers or b) detracted them from their formulaic approach, therefore making a bit of mockery of the programme as each ‘case’ tends to go something a bit like this:
Presenter – Here’s Bill, who you will recall has bought the run down terrace in North Liverpool for £35,000
[cue pictures of said property looking sad and unloved]
Presenter - you got a great price for it , so what do you plan to do with the property?
Bill – We’ll be refurbishing it for the rental market
Presenter – That sounds great and sounds like you have done this before...
Bill – Yes my company has been doing this for around 10 years now
Presenter – The house has been empty for a while and looks like it needs lots of work – what will you spend on it?
Bill – I think mostly its remedial work and decor so I’m hopeful we can turn this around in a month and I’d expect to spend about £2000 on it max
Presenter – and what do you think it’ll be worth to you when it’s finished?
Bill - £300 per calendar month
We then see pictures of Bill and his team doing work on the property – they knock down walls, they lay new flooring, they have to do the electrics upstairs, which turn out to be dodgy, and then decorate everything beige and install new fixtures and fittings. Some of the bathroom and kitchen fittings are the style and colour of those in the end of aisle B&Q bargain bins, the carpets are atrocious and look like they were bought off ebay in a job lot.
Presenter – So it's a month later and here we are with Bill and the finished property – are you pleased with it?
Bill – yes, we did it in the time I’d expected and within budget
Presenter – we had some local letting agents view the property and price it up – let’s see what they think it’s worth...
We see 2 agents viewing the property – they comment negatively on the decor and then justify it by adding comments like ‘but then this property is for the local rental market so it'll be fine’ and both reckon they could let the property immediately for £300 pcm
Presenter [over enthusiastically] – That’s great Bill, you’ll get the price you wanted
Bill [nods and smiles sheepishly and presumably when the camera stops rolling heads off to the next auction for his next property]
So whilst I’m sure the programme makers want to see auction purchases, construction cock ups, costly mistakes and take delight in lenghty slippage in work plans and the abject failure to achieve projected income streams, the current nature of the housing market and our economic climate means that the people featured (call me cynical seeing as I work in and am knowledgable of this sector) are JUST DOING THEIR JOBS AND, by and large, seem to be DOING THEM WELL to keep a depressed sector of our economy moving....but that doesn't sounds as catchy as a programme title does it?
